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i am fascinated with men in uniform. they make me feel warm and all-giggly inside. =) my latest obsession is going to the gym. looking back at my california days pix make me wanna throw up. i haven't reached my ideal weight goal yet but i am definitely working hard on it.
i made this blog so i could vent up some of my frustrations in writing. i maintain another active one but it came to a point where it became "too active" that i feel like i'm forcing all my friends to read whatever i've written unlike here where they can just visit as they please. =)
fAvOr!tE LiNkS
R-ToYz
HoOk-Up
My SiStEr ApRiL
i ShOoT
NiKKi
YgY eF cH!cK
PoW's LuMoT
ViCiOuZ rAciNg
BCTUNED
aLaN's HaTaW
BeBeHbUnZ
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Saturday, October 14, 2006
Posted at 11:49 pm by tsiklet
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Thursday, October 06, 2005
LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE!
liars are the kind of people that easily gets me ticked off. i know i should be really mad now, but because I DON'T CARE for this person, it doesn't really bother me at all. in fact, i just laugh at the thought of it. it's hilarious! he thinks he's all that, but the way i see it...and i guess the people around him as well, sees him as a big joke. looks can be deceiving, i'm telling you! when a certain person acts soooo respectful and tells you how much he loves you to the point that it's nauseating...it's nothing but a stupid act! he may just be USING you. i'm soooo thankful that i'm like, a gazillion miles away from this person 'coz the thought of me sharing intimate moments with him (which i never did, WUHOOOOO!!!) might make me wanna kill myself. i'd be disgusted to death!
he told his friends that MY son is his son. ewwwww!...THE NERVE OF THAT JERK!!! dude pisses me off! now i feel sorry for this girl that "used" to be with him. she's all messed up right now. this guy has broken her bad. she's asking me...imagine...ME for advise! to tell you the truth, i don't wanna be in the middle of this...but i really feel sorry for her. she seems like a very nice person. i just wish that what she told me about her situation now isn't true or else, she'll be in deeper sh*t than she is now. basically, i just listened to her and didn't even add fuel to the fire. i told her that no matter what i and other people that she talked with say, the final decision is still up to her. if she stays with him and end up getting hurt again, then she can't blame me or anyone else because she made that decision by herself. it's her life and only her alone can pull herself up or down from the hell-ish place that she's in now . i think i pray for her more now than i pray for myself.
wait! wait! i have to throw up for a minute! there. that's good. sometimes i feel like my gag reflex is acting up. whenever i remember that i "used" to like this person, i feel like throwing up again and again and again. what the heck was i thinking for even considering him to be a part of my life before? i guess i just gave it a shot...and that shot backfired on me. darnit!
i don't even wanna write anything longer than what i've written here. this dumbass isn't worth my time and effort. i take it back...he ain't worth ANYONE'S time and effort. USERS have no place in this planet.
don't get me wrong. i'm not bitter. GOD NO! i am thankful to be spared from this certain creature. if you guys think that i'm a man-hater now, think again. and think hard. I AM SO NOT!!! how could i ever hate them? they're fun to play with. haha! kidding! nahhh, seriously, one a**hole can't completely ruin my love for men. sure, i always have my guards up, but i DO know when to chill and open up myself bit by bit...only to deserving people of course. =) what one moron did does not generalize what men really are. i still have faith in them...i just hope that this "bad seed" won't sprout any more stems or i might have to kill them off all at once. haha! =P
and YOU! you know who you are...if you wanna straighten out your faults, you better start having a personality overhaul. u probably need to see a therapist to help you stop being a compulsive liar. do something about it before you lose everyone in your pathetic so-called life.
*PEACE!*
Posted at 12:35 am by tsiklet
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Monday, July 04, 2005
happy 4th of july people! sorry i haven't been blogging as much as i used to. i just had to deal with some other stuff. we're gonna watch the fireworks later at downtown orlando...in lake eola! i guess i'll just blog again sometime this week. i have so much to say but i don't have the time to do it right now. =)
Posted at 03:11 pm by tsiklet
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Saturday, June 25, 2005
i am sooo bakya! i don't normally watch filipino movies but when i visit my friend lorie, who works for her aunt that owns a filipino store not so far from here, i can't help but grab tagalog DVDs. the last movie i rented was "so happy together" starring kris aquino and eric quizon. now, before you laugh...lemme tell you first why i chose this film. it's because it's the only movie where i know who the actors were and the only movie there i guess that doesn't have porn in it (if i'm gonna watch porn, it's sure as hell that it ain't tagalog!) and yeah, the only one that's light enough for me. meaning, i didn't wanna rent a drama-filled movie.
geez, what is wrong with the philippine cinema industry? all i've been reading on the entertainment news there are "bold" movies of this and that person...people whom i have no effin' idea who they are and probably the reason why they became actresses/actors is because they had the guts to shed every piece of clothing without having any whims. pathetic i know. most of them aren't even close to being bad-looking. they just don't know how to act! do they really think that they have the staying power in that industry to even consider doing what they're doing? oh well, i guess it's really up to them if they've got dignity or not.
just to make things clear, i have no objections against nudity. if the story calls for you being nude and gettin' down with it, then it's cool. BUT, if you just bare everything just for the heck of it, then that's sad. have some respect for yourself. if you have none, how do you expect other people to respect you? maybe some people like the feeling that they're being fantasized over by thousands, if not millions of men...but still...YUCK!
i don't mean to be crude...but why is it that when americans, europeans and heck, other ASIANS do porn movies, they don't look as terrible as the ones filipinos have? is it the language? or is it just basically how cheap they make it? i don't know. you tell me.
ok, i know i'm getting off-topic here so now, let's get back on track.
as i've said, i watched "so happy together" a while ago. i've had the DVD for 3 days now and it wasn't 'til this morning when i woke up that i finally got to see it. it was funny in a shallow kind of way but surprisingly, i enjoyed the storyline. i guess the gay character that eric quizon (wait, is he just playing the role or is he really gay?) portrayed helped the gag (laugh) value. i found myself bawling by the end of the movie and that came as a shock to me.
through the years, i have always, ALWAYS enjoyed being in the company of gay people. be it lezbos or baklas, i find myself very comfortable being surrounded by them. they have this special kind of super-energy that makes every single second magical. there's always laughter and drama!
i realized how much i miss my gay friends back home. heck, even the gay people i've met in california. they are just so precious. they're always fun to be with and they always got your back no matter what. true friends are hard to find...and when you do find them, keep them close. they are the ones who will lift you up from the dumps whether you like it or not.
Posted at 01:21 pm by tsiklet
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Friday, June 24, 2005
at looooonnngggg last! the entire house is spiffin' clean. it's close to lookin' immaculate. i'ms so proud. it took us more than 7 hours to clean everything from top to bottom. honestly, segregating the toys to throw out and donate is an even bigger task than making everything shiny. ralph and my nephew cameron were hiding all the things that we already put on the "to go" boxes. the moment i went up to my room, there it was...all those toys that were supposed to be thrown out are being protected by the two boys. it was cute how protective they were of their toys...but geez! there's a fine line between having enough toys and having too much. they don't even play with it anymore. they just like seeing them lying around on the floor. when being threatened that the toys need to go, that's when they start playing and appreciating them. hmmmmm, maybe trying to take the toys away every 2 weeks is not such a bad idea so they'll not ignore 'em anymore. 
anyhoo, i would really be disappointed if i find this house dirty again. i don't want to clean for a loooooooooonnnngggg time. 
Posted at 03:55 pm by tsiklet
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Tuesday, June 21, 2005
i'm a bit relieved that my multiply account is slowly looking normal again. it still needs a lot of things to be done, but it's a start and i'm happy with it. i decided not to upgrade this account anymore since i guess this'll just be my back-up blog in case something tragic happens to multiply again. i'll just be putting links here whenever i wanna post pictures.
anyway...today, we went to the mall for the semi-annual sales. oh my gosh !!! i almost dropped my jaw on the floor when i saw all the prices of those things that i really, really want. they're dirt-cheap. yeah, you heard me right, DIRT CHEAP! ...imagine, some of them are even 75% off! i had to stop myself from purchasing all the things that i've been eyeing on. i've been calculating everything mentally and even if they're on sale, when added, will leave me penniless for a long, long time. sigh* 
semi-annual sales and any kinds of sale all year-round makes me feel like i'm in heaven the moment i set foot on the mall. after all the euphoria and other feelings of ecstasy, i plummet down back to earth. not just that, i think i shoot down as fast as the speed of sound and go under earth's surface as soon as my happy bubble bursts. the moment i realize how much i've spent always leaves me nauseated. .
ralph and cameron seemed like they had a good time today. we first had lunch at our favorite chinese restaurant in colonial drive, then went to watch robots (yeah i know...they've already seen that before but since this moviehouse that we went to today showed movies that were released a few months earlier, we made them watch it again with their lola (grandmother) while my sister and i watched "guess who" starring ashton kutcher and bernie mac...another movie that was released months ago...it was hilarious. i love stupid comedy, what can i say?) here are some snapshots of the boys while i tortured (read as: stopped myself from buying everything i see) myself inside the mall.
Posted at 11:51 pm by tsiklet
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it's official. i hate multiply right now. i'm dead-serious, i'm sooooo pissed!!! i've upgraded my account only because i don't want to have the typical-looking page that everyone else has. after the "NEW" multiply has been set up, it caused major problems to us who used to customize our page with CSS and other html tags. i've been sitting in front of my PC for like 2 hours now trying to figure out how the f*ck i'm gonna fix my page again. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! i don't see the edit button that it used to have before. this has become so USER-UNFRIENDLY to me. i used to love multiply but now, it's really frustrating!!! I HATE IT, I HATE IT! I HATE IT!!! someone help me pleaseeeeeee!
i wanna know how i could take my old background out. you know, that pink one that has tsiklet written all over it and how the f*ck do i fix my journal page? i used to upload background music and some video caps waaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy before they offered the music and video link. now, when i click on my journal page, it's nothing but total chaos. shiet! everything's playing all at the same time dammit! i need helppppppppppppppppppppppp!
is there anyone out there who can help me? pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee???
PS: sorry for the profanity. i'm just soooooo peeved right now.
Posted at 02:12 am by tsiklet
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Monday, June 20, 2005
their upgrade is a downgrade on my book!
i'm pissed. i think i need to upgrade my multiply account to either gold or platinum. my whole page looks like a total mess right now. it's like a reflection of how i'm feeling lately. everything seems to be in total chaos. i need to organize stuff again. put everything in order to make it picture-perfect.
ugh, maybe i'll do that later. i'll still wait for the other members of Pimp Ur Site to discover how to work our way around this new thing multiply has set up for us. the only reason why i wanna upgrade anyways is because i can use CSS on my pages so it won't look typical and boring like the rest of the free accounts. =) i am such a snob when it comes to things being plain. plain equals boring to me. what 'yah gonna do about it? one more thing i hate about the new look of multiply is the fact that it totally messed up lots and if not, most of the things i've done on my page. it's hellla ugly now. kakainis! not only that. i used to put background music on some of the journal entries i've written and even uploaded some video caps...now it's like playing all at the same time once you hit my journal page. i hate it! i don't even have the option to do anything about it. now, i have to figure out and slowly fix all the html tags one by one on all the entries. what a pain in the neck!
alright...i'll post more stuff later on. i just have to do something for my dad right now.
Posted at 08:30 pm by tsiklet
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Sunday, June 19, 2005
I didn't mean it
When I said I didn't love you, so
I should have held on tight
I never shoulda let you go
I didn't know nothing
I was stupid, I was foolish
I was lying to myself
I could not fathom that I would ever
Be without your love
Never imagined I'd be
Sitting here beside myself
Cause I didn't know you
Cause I didn't know me
But I thought I knew everything
I never felt
The feeling that I'm feeling
Now that I don't hear your voice
Or have your touch and kiss your lips
Cause I don't have a choice
Oh, what I wouldn't give
To have you lying by my side
Right here, cause baby
(We belong together)
*[chorus]*
When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby, please
Cause we belong together
Who else am I gon' lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
Oh, baby baby, we belong together
I can't sleep at night
When you are on my mind
Bobby Womack's on the radio
Saying to me
"If you think you're lonely now"
Wait a minute
This is too deep (too deep)
I gotta change the station
So I turn the dial
Trying to catch a break
And then I hear Babyface
"I only think of you"
And it's breaking my heart
I'm trying to keep it together
But I'm falling apart
I'm feeling all out of my element
I'm throwing things, crying
Trying to figure out
Where the hell I went wrong
The pain reflected in this song
It ain't even half of what
I'm feeling inside
I need you
Need you back in my life, baby
*[chorus]*
ouch! this song definitely hit a nerve. for the past 2 weeks or so, i found myself reminiscing about this certain guy i used to be with. it brought me back to happier times and i can't help but ask myself why things didn't work out for us. yeah, he could be the most annoying person in the world. by annoying i mean, he's always there by my side 24/7. he wouldn't let me go anywhere if he's not with me. i felt he has hands choking around my neck. i couldn't breathe because of his over-protectiveness. after a long time of not really being with one special person who loves me more than his life, i realized how much i missed the feeling of security. i guess i miss the feeling that someone actually worries about me. someone who calls to check what i'm up to or just call to say a quick hi. sure, i have friends who do that to me. but they're just...friends.
i don't normally feel this weird. i am happy with my life. i can't say "i could not ask for more"...because in reality, i want more. i don't need extravagant things. i just want to be with someone. looking back at my old journals and pictures that have been hidden for like eons ago, i stumbled upon this one particular picture and it brought me back to that exact day when the picture was taken. it wasn't really a special day, it was just one of those chill-out days with him and our friends. the smiles on our faces were so genuine. it looked like we were having the grandest time of our lives...things went downhill a few months after that particular picture was taken. i felt the need to break away from him. i guess i just fell out of love...or whatever you wanna call it.
sad to say, but i guess that relationship was the one when i felt loved the most. i've had boyfriends after him which obviously ended up being just "another doomed relationship". Sure, not all my decisions were the right ones and some lapses in judgement put me in the arms of cretinous characters who didn't have to play any part in my life had my judgement been better. But, I can truly say that I loved with what I knew of love, every single guy that has been my boyfriend, no matter how baffled I am now at how i could have been with some of them in the first place.
...but this guy, i can't stop thinking of him. i know i miss him a lot. i know it would feel great if i talk to him again. but i'm stopping myself from doing so because after all these years, lots of things has already happened. i might end up just being crushed when i finally realize that all this is just a phase i'm going through. there's all these "what if's" nagging me inside my head. one of those what if's is...what if he doesn't feel the same thing i'm feeling right now? wouldn't that just put me more on the edge? in life, we always have to take risks. i have always considered myself a risk-taker. but in this case, i think i'll have to pass. call me pessimistic but i can't spare my poor heart to be crushed into a million pieces again.
i'm writing this here because i know this is one place he'll never go to. i can never admit to him again how much i've missed him, but i want him to know how sorry i am for messing up our lives. i know you won't be able to read this ever...but if ever you do, i want you to know that...****, believe it or not, we belong together! =(
P.S: happy fathers' day.
Posted at 02:46 pm by tsiklet
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Saturday, June 18, 2005
party time and disneyworld
haven't blogged in like 3 days and so much has already happened! last wednesday was ralph's party at congo river adventure golf. my heart was tied in hard knots 'coz an hour before his party was about to start, the rain came puring in like there's no tomorrow. thunder and lightning everywhere! i was so mad 'coz since his party was set outdoors, i didn't think nobody would show up and that would suck big time! 20 minutes before the actual party, the sky started to clear up and i was able to calm down a little.
surprise, surprise! it didn't even rain on the other side of town! it was dry everywhere and people did come for the party! it was actually the perfect day to go golfing for the kids. the sun was ready to set and it wasn't hot at all. i had a hard time running back to the party area and watching the kids enjoy themselves playing mini golf. every single time i try to relax, my dad calls me to say there's more guests that arrived. i, of course have to entertain them and leave the other kids playing already with my brother-in-law, sister and some parents.
i wasn't even able to take a picture of the whole caboodle. everybody was either playing golf, playing in the arcade, walking around, eating, etc. i had pictures of them on different parts of the golf course. here are some pics i was able to shoot despite my running back and forth and entertaining people.
i'm so glad i'm not a kindergarten or preschool teacher! i have found new respect for them. i don't know how they do it. i mean, i only watched the kids for a couple of hours during the party, and i think i suck at it big time. don't get me wrong. i love kids. always have and always will. but having to watch and teach and take care of them 8 hours a day for 5 days? no thank you. =) and that was with the help of other parents already! geez! i'd probably lose my sanity if i was one.
all in all, the party was great! people were stuffed and both the parents and kids were happy by the end of the day. nina (duy's mom) even told me that the mini-golf party theme was a great idea. the kids didn't get bored and there were pleny of running space for the kids. plus the fact that they had things to do like play golf, feed the fish and aligators (that's an experience!) play in the arcade and eat, eat...EAT while us parents try to chat and relax a little 'coz we know that the kids are safe and can't get out of the place without us noticing it. i'm glad ralph had this party. it's one he'll never forget. success...i can finally breathe right again. =)
disney's animal kingdom and epcot center
thursday morning, the day after the party, we all went to disneyworld and park-hopped from animal kingdom to epcot center. everybody was off from work so it was like a 4-days celebration of ralph's birthday.
the highlights of animal kingdom were the kalimanjaro safari adventure, the white water rafting in asia, all the shows especially the lion king one (see the pictures and video cap here). it was awesome.
mannnn, i was observing how everyone in the theme parks looked...we all looked the same, sweaty, icky, yucky, and all the adjectives you could think of that means the same as "sooooo hot" yet all of us had big smiles on our faces no matter how harrassed we look like. there's something about disney that can never put a frown on ur face no matter how dirty and sticky you feel. =)
we then went off to epcot center around 6PM to walk around and see more shows and watch the Illuminations fireworks. it's like the the perfect way to end ralph's 4-days celebration of his birthday. =)
Posted at 03:01 pm by tsiklet
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